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Confessions of a Las Vegas! Poker Junkie
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Southpark Jeff

Posted by J at 12:41 PM PDT
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Moving Day
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Satellite Radio - Some Indie Band that sucks.
Movin to Vegas.

Today.

Can't Believe I finally did it!

More Later.....

J

Posted by J at 12:26 PM PDT
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For those of you who thought you knew everything, here's a
refresher course...............

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for
blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of
age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1)
olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is
normally associated with women what does this tell you!) Apples,
not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

So did the first "Marlboro Man."

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth...

Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six
6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting
from the flush...

(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now) Richard Millhouse

Nixon was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the
letters from the word "criminal." The second ? William Jefferson
Clinton (Please don't tell me you're SURPRISED!?!!) And the best
for last.....

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Now you know everything there is to know.

Of importance, that is !!!

Posted by J at 12:08 AM PDT
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Saturday, March 19, 2005
Mercedes Update
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Some Miller Lite Commercial
Gotta update you on the Benzo too....

New parts:

New Front Brakes
New Alternator
New Thermostat
New Bosch Platinum Sparkplugs
K&N oil and air filters

New Car Audio:

Clarion DXZ655MP Head Unit
Phoenix Gold Xenon 100.2 Amplifier
Phoenix Gold Titanium 12" DVC Subwoofer
2.4 ft2 ported enclosure tuned at 40hz
$80 worth of dynamat on the trunklid and side panels

Next up:
Wheels and tires
Paint

Posted by J at 8:17 PM PST
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Guess Whose Back, Back Again.......
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Blu Collar Comedy Tour
Well, its been a whirlwind lately, Ive been in Vegas for most of the last two months on my days off playing poker and looking for somewhere to live down there. I think I like Mandalay bay the best, its selection of conventioneers is by far the most inept and the most eager to risk all of their chips on a double gut draw... I have also won 2 of 3 tournaments I have played there...

I played in what may be the craziest format for no limit I have ever seen at the Luxor. 3 blinds of 1, 1, and 2. A $50 buy in. No more, no less. I lost $150 in 3 hands before I gave up. I don't believe I saw a single flop at that table without at least 1 player all in.

The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino has my vote for the place where the beautiful people congregate, but the palms and the Rio are right there too.

The worst gouge on a room I have seen so far was last week during the construction expo. $239 for a standard room at the stratosphere. On a Wednesday. I have a problem with paying $49 for their crappy rooms. C'mon, even construction workers aren't that stupid. I guess thats why stratosphere was one of the last hotels with vacancies.

More later.....

J

Posted by J at 7:58 PM PST
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Monday, February 7, 2005
A cool blog to check out
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Nickleback - Should've Listened
Heres a cool blog to check out, written by an army dude on the front lines.... Do they have lines there? I dont know.... But anyways, he is a tank driver or commander or something, and he is also a decent author.....


Armor Geddon

J

Posted by J at 10:10 AM PST
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Saturday, February 5, 2005
Writers Bloc
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Afroman - Colt 45
Sorry its been awhile. I still dont feel like writing much, but heres a little somethin someone sent me. Read on.......

Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some
cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he
noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!

Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the
table and emerged red-faced.

Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.

Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under
there?

Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he
did.

She said, " Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500."

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this
offer, John confirms that he is interested.

She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John
doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp
and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and
closed their transaction, as agreed.

John quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house,
asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"

With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a few
minutes this afternoon."

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he
give you $500?"

In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her
best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500."

Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,
"Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and
borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon
on his way home and pay me back."

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!

Posted by J at 9:27 AM PST
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Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Vegas Babay, Vegas!
Mood:  vegas lucky
Now Playing: Some more 80's s#$t
Well hello, everyone, I am typing from the same internet cafe as before, from vegas. I left on the spur of the moment, with $1500 of tournament winnings in my pocket. I havent told you about that, but more to follow.

I was stuck almost $300, playing the 4-8 at Bellagio, I had put my name on the 15-30 list, but nothing was open....

I sank down to $180, below the minimum buy in at the 15-30, but I won a pot to get to $240, just above the minimum. I wen to the 15-30, and wouldnt you know, I made the nut flus with mt k9 of diamonds and won a pot, taking me $100 over what I came with (Including drinks, dinner and entertainment from the night before.) I quickly cashed in and came here.

more to follow.....

Jeff

PS. if anyone reads this and wonders where I am, I am still in vegas till thursday.... Sorry dad, I said I would call you for lunch, I still will, but it will probably be from lunch.....

J

Posted by J at 8:29 AM PST
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Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Hillarys Challenge
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Killer Mike - Addidas
Thought this was amusing.




The picture shows that this soldier has been thru Survival School and learned his lessons well. He's giving the sign of "coercion" with his left hand. These hand signs are taught in survival school to be used by POW's as a method of posing messages back to our intelligence services who may view the photo or video. This guy was obviously being coerced into shaking hands with Hillary Clinton.

Posted by J at 7:45 AM PST
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Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Thank You God!
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: Nate Dogg ft. Ludacris - Real Pimp
Unless you've been hiding in Saddam's hole for the past 24 hrs, you know that the Jazz finally won a game. The amazing part is that they beat the Spurs. They hadn't beaten them since 2000. 18 games. Props to the Jazz for finally kicking that monkey off their back. I still believe, I guess......

J

ps. I got tickets to see Jazz/Suns wednesday. For free. ;>

Posted by J at 10:52 AM PST
Updated: Tuesday, January 11, 2005 10:54 AM PST
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Simply Disgusting
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz - Nothins' Free
The supreme court decided this was OK. Something about free speech. I am a firm believer of peoples right to say what they want and express themselves, but this is just wrong. No matter what. Sick.


Posted by J at 10:48 AM PST
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Sunday, January 9, 2005
Wild Poker this Weekend
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Denver vs. Indy 2nd quarter
Lots of action this morning. 4 guys and over $1500 on the table being passed back and forth. The game was 1-5 but everyone had overs up to $35. Some $200-300 pots every few hands. It was fun to deal because the action was so interesting, and they were all hooking up the dealers (me) pretty good.

Played in a capped out 2-5 at the rainbow yesterday and got pretty lucky, taking a little more than $400 in less than 1 hr. I only played 5 hands to the flop, and I won 4 of them. Love it when that happens....

My tournament woes continue, since the win last Friday I am a miserable 0 for 3. Time for a break I think.

Found a cool house to rent, I just hope that its still available when I call Monday morning. It has a garage, so if I get it you will see alot more pics as I customize the Benz.

Gotta get back to the game....

J

Posted by J at 11:02 AM PST
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Thursday, January 6, 2005
Like the Colors?
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Enigma - Club Mix
This is what its gonna look like soon......


Posted by J at 8:03 PM PST
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My Own Soap Opera
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Oingo Boingo - Weird Science
Well, I celebrated my daughters 7th birthday. We went bowling at Fatcats. It was skating last year. Nickelcade the year before. Or jungle Jims, Im not sure. I did manage a 160 something, and I usually get a 120 or so. Pretty amazing. Aurie loved the digital camera I gave her, she and her sister were taking tons of pictures all afternoon. I gave her a globe? thingy that I bought in Vegas last month. Its one of those clear bubbles filled with water and sprinkles with a little sculpture of New york city in it. Looks like its snowing when you shake it. What do you call those things?

I have officially jumped off the wagon of the Utah Jazz. I am a Miami fan forthwith. Flash is awesome to watch, and who doesent love the Diesel? Better than seeing the Jazz self destruct in the second half of every game.

I saw Meet The Fockers yesterday. It was hilarious. Randy and Horny Focker? They went overtime on this movie. Be prepared to laugh for an hour or so straight. I was wore out by the time it was over.

J

Posted by J at 6:38 PM PST
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Sunday, January 2, 2005
Happy New Year
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Afroman - Colt 45
Just a quickie. Happy New Year!

ps. won the tournament friday, hit a $130 2 teamer for $468 - you could say its been a good weekend!

Gott go, I gots me some company......


J

Posted by J at 8:19 AM PST
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Thursday, December 30, 2004
Stuff You might Need For Later
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: American Hi Fi - Another Perfect Day
Take away the right to say "f**k" and you take away the right to say "f**k the government!".
-- Lenny Bruce

Do you wake up in the morning feeling sleepy and grumpy? Then you must be Snow White.
-- David Frost

An American girl hit on me in a club and asked me to make her an Egyptian princess. So I threw a sheet over her head and told her to be quiet.
-- Ahmed Ahmed

I bet a lot of mimes choke to death because nobody believes they're really choking.
-- John Gephart

Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
-- Mike Tyson

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
-- Elayne Boosler

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.
-- Anonymous

Posted by J at 2:28 AM PST
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Suds
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Jay Z - 99 Problems
ps. Laundrys done.

Posted by J at 2:14 AM PST
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Poker's Taking off at the Bay
Now Playing: 3am Sportscenter
The Jazz are pitiful, I just want to get that out of the way right off.

I came into 2 games on Monday, a first I believe. We had been lucky to spread a game in the last 2 months. I had been getting alot of days off. kinda kills the check, you know?

Both games were very soft, all you had to do was wait for good cards. Not too much action so it was easy to steal the pot, even when your cards didn't hit.

I'm thinking mid January would be good for another Vegas trip. The action there was just too much fun to miss for more than a month or two. I hope Carrot Top is gone from the MGM before then.

Whatever happened to Dennis Miller? He used to be funny, but he has turned into this news automaton that is almost too painful to watch. Oh wait, it is!

Thoughts are with the tens of thousands who lost their lives around the Indian ocean in the huge waves. Mind numbing to even think about.

J

Posted by J at 2:12 AM PST
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Monday, December 27, 2004
I Still Cant Catch This Guy!
Mood:  hungry
I am close, but not quite there. Here are the current standings for my fantasy league team. I am in second place, behind the leader by 140 or so.

RK Your League 12/26 Total Prize
1 a lost in space 159 5865.5 2023.5 TSNP Back
2 one2ruplayas 137 5721.5 2167.5 TSNP Back
3 Hard Knock's 232 5200 2689 TSNP Back
4 Kiss Of Death 162 5132 2757 TSNP Back
5 Leonardo 91 5023.5 2865.5 TSNP Back
6 TOP GUNZZ 67 4924.5 2964.5 TSNP Back
7 blizzards 166 4861 3028 TSNP Back
8 commandos 116 4681.5 3207.5 TSNP Back
9 cavs 114 4538.5 3350.5 TSNP Back
10 Byrant Did DO i 74 4454.5 3434.5 TSNP Back
11 Brick City Slam 88 4364 3525 TSNP Back
12 Moonknightt 137 4103.5 3785.5 TSNP Back
13 Poopoocaca 124 3828 4061 TSNP Back
14 gappers jumpbal 52 3731.5 4157.5 TSNP Back
15 Warriors101 144 3628.5 4260.5 TSNP Back
16 pimpin 0 3392 4497 TSNP Back
17 WARRIORS 124 3387 4502 TSNP Back
18 tmen111 38 3083 4806 TSNP Back
19 hoopers 0 0 7889 TSNP Back
19 "bANgerS" 0 0 7889 TSNP Back


My Current Fantasy Roster:

Wade, Dwyane MIA 12/27 ATL 23.6 5.6 7.4 0.0 1170.5 $8,240,000
Hinrich, Kirk CHI 12/28 NJ 15.0 3.8 6.7 33.0 781.0 $6,330,000
James, LeBron CLE 12/28@ATL 24.6 6.8 6.9 65.5 1292.5 $9,720,000
Chandler, Tyson CHI 12/28 NJ 8.6 9.5 0.9 20.0 651.0 $3,710,000
Okur, Mehmet UTA 12/27 SEA 12.5 7.2 1.8 0.0 684.0 $4,310,000
LaFrentz, Raef BOS 12/28@DAL 10.4 8.2 1.1 18.5 659.0 $3,480,000

Posted by J at 7:22 PM PST
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Laundry Sucks
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Jazz vs Sonics - tied at the half
Laundry is not the first thing I wanted to do when I finally got out of bed today. Oh well.



Posted by J at 7:11 PM PST
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